Anorexia nervosa: the testimony of a patient

Testimony of Cécile, 34 years old.

How do you live your daily illness?

Wrong ! I am anorexic since adolescence. I have already had several stays in the hospital. And that's worse than anything. You are put on a drip. You are forced to grow. It's terrible. So, I try to maintain my weight, just not to go to the hospital. But it's hard. My life is the doctor every week, the psychiatrist, the dentist. The dentist, because I'm losing my teeth, one after the other. I have all the time discomfort.

I try to keep working. But there are days when I do not stand up. And at work, my colleagues do not understand. At first, they were very nice to me. They took care of me. They knew I was sick. But after a few years, they got fed up. They do not talk to me anymore. And that makes me cry often. But hey, I work as much as I can. And when I can not go, I go on sick leave. And then, I broke my leg a few times. Like an old woman. I am decalcified. So my daily life is that. It's the disease. It is loneliness because of the disease.

And from an emotional point of view, do you have a companion?

No. It's impossible. Did you see my body? Who would want a skeleton like this? I had a friend. I stayed with him for two years. And he left. He could not take it anymore. He calls me sometimes. I think that all hurt him, too. We loved each other very much. But this disease destroys everything. And then, I can not have children. I do not have any rules. I'm too skinny.

What is your relationship with your parents?

It depends on the days. Fortunately, my mother cares a lot about me. She loves me a lot. I think I'm his favorite. But she is not in Paris. She lives with her new husband and children. But she calls me often. When things go wrong, I go home. But, we do not get along very well on the duration. So, I'm going back to Paris. And my father, he has always been very absent. I never see him. He is a very important gentleman. He has a lot of work.

How do you see your future?
I am scared. This is especially so. I am scared. It depends on the days. When I regain some weight, I feel better, I resume hope. I tell myself that I'll get out of it. And it makes me want to fight. But there is always something wrong. Each time, I break something or catch a flu or something and it plugs everything on the floor.

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